You might realize this relationship was destined to go nowhere, and you can learn to be whole on your own so that you are open to finding real and sustainable love.ĭon’t rush it. You might realize that you were selfish, and then you can work on learning to be a better partner. Having time away gives you the opportunity to see things clearly. You might need to reflect on how you were in the relationship and make some changes moving forward. You need to rip out the walls and rebuild on your foundation. Because the way this relationship was working…wasn’t working. You can’t do that if you’re still talking to him or scrolling through his Facebook feed.Įven if you do ultimately get back together, you still need to heal. Your first and foremost goal right now should be to heal that heartbreak. You’re used to having him in your life and in your heart, so right after a breakup, it’s understandable that you can’t imagine moving forward without him. Eventually, those drugs work themselves out of your system and you can function normally again. If you want to break your addiction, you detox.
You Allow Yourself Time to HealĬonsider your relationship like a drug. You’re essentially communicating: “I’m open to talking about things, but I need some space to work through my feelings. Honestly, it should make him want you more because he had to wait. If he’s trying to get back together, taking those three weeks shouldn’t change that fact. You’re not wondering if he wants you back. I’m not encouraging a power play between you and your ex, but I am saying that you need to regain control of your mind and heart, and then set the tempo for things if you do reconcile.įollowing the no contact rule allows you to busy your mind with other things so that you’re not focused on him and what he’s doing. If you keep in contact, you might be obsessing over him and your relationship, which also takes power away from you.īut if he starts sniffing around, wanting you back, now’s your chance to get that control of the situation. After all, he made the decision to end things. When a guy dumps you, you lose your power in the relationship. You Win Your Power Backįollowing the no contact rule puts the power back in your hands. Let’s look at a few other benefits of following the no contact rule. Those folks got back together and have even stronger relationships than they did before.Įither way, you’re better off for having some mental and emotional distance from this man. The men also had a chance to realize what a good thing they’d given up.
Others had time and space to realize that this man was worth fighting for. Once they realized that and let him go, they found the real love they’d been looking for. Some realized that they were mooning over the wrong man. These women had time to clear their heads and really consider what they wanted. However, I’ve seen amazing results with women who could commit to that 3 weeks following the no contact rule. Or the man has no incentive to miss her and woo her back. Okay, let me break it down for you: with the no contact rule, you go 21 days without interacting with that guy that broke your heart.ĭoes it work? Look, I’ve coached hundreds of women - and men - and when we’re dealing with a breakup, I have never seen anything good come of staying in touch with an ex right after the split.Įither it makes the woman want him more…even if they’re not a good fit…
But you won’t know until you’ve had some time away. The more time you have away from the guy that broke your heart, the more you can get your head straight and figure out what you really want. Look Sexy Confident lady, there’s a reason why people are talking about the no contact rule. “Accidentally” bump into him at his favorite bar as if, “wow I didn’t expect to see you here!”īut I’m here to tell you: these are all really bad ideas. Go on Facebook to see what he’s doing and who he’s hanging out with … Pick up that phone and text him that you miss him… You hear about this no contact rule thing…your friends say is a great idea for you right now since the guy you were dating just ended things…but you’re not sure.